The Sin of Silence

We know that we can sin through speech, but silence can also be a sin. Deitrich Bonhoffer put it so well:

"Silence in the face of evil is itself evil. God will not hold us guiltless. Not to speak is to speak. Not to act is to act."

Bonhoeffer lived at a time and place where this understanding of the sin of silence made the difference between life and death for some people. The same is true for us today. Will you allow innocent masses of children to go to their deaths while you sit idly and silently by? Will you allow ignorant masses of unsaved men and women to go to their deaths while you sit idly and silently by? God will not hold us guiltless!

A Special Purpose

I’m so excited to finally be able to share this story with you! It’s a story of love, life, and loss. It’s a story of God’s redemption and healing. It’s a story I’ll remember for the rest of my life.

It was July 27^th, a typical Monday morning, which means I was at the abortion mill. One of our team members was gone that morning, leaving me as the counselor to go on the RV with any woman who wanted an ultrasound. I had the training to do that back in May, but had never had the opportunity to go on with anyone yet. I was nervous, but praying hard that someone would come for an ultrasound, and near the end of the morning, someone did!

She and her boyfriend came on and shared their story with the nurse and me. It was a story we hear often; she already had four children (all four from the same father, but a different man than her current boyfriend), was in school, and just didn’t know how in the world she was going to be able to have a baby right now. Besides, she shared that there were some relationship problems between her family and her boyfriend’s family and that her boyfriend had been physically abusive toward her.

We spent a while talking, addressing the issues that came up and giving help, support, and answers where we could. After a while we took the boyfriend outside to one of the men on our team so that they could give him some counsel from a man and so that we could talk with the woman alone with the hope that she would be a little more open without him there. She was, and we were able to have a good conversation. She shared with us that she had been close to God a number of years ago, but that some bad influences in her life and led her down a wrong path and she had been making some bad decisions. She then told us that she wanted to rededicate her life to following God right then and there, and she did.

Before they left that morning we gave her some maternity clothes and made a plan about how to follow up on her other needs. Among other things, we were going to get a 3D ultrasound to determine her baby’s gender so that we could plan a baby shower since it had been 5 years since her last baby and she didn’t have anything.

God had other plans. One week later as we were still discussing scheduling for the ultrasound, she texted me: she had miscarried. She sent a photo of her perfectly formed, 19 week old son. I was stunned. I cried. In a way, he felt like my baby. I had been able to see his life literally snatched from death only a week before, and now he was gone. Of course, I knew that he was in a much better place and would never have to face the trials of this earth, and I rejoiced in that. I also rejoiced that he had been able to be loved and treasured by his mama before he died, instead of dying a painful death at his own mama’s hands through abortion.

As I was thinking of the sadness that I felt at this loss and texting with the mama, I thought of something that we often tell women at the abortion mill: that God has created their child for a special purpose. That includes this little boy, even though he never lived outside his mama’s womb. I think that some of the purpose of his life was what God wanted to do in his mama's heart, and in mine. I know I haven’t been the same after this experience, and his mama hasn’t either. His short life accomplished so much for God and when his purpose was fulfilled, God took him home.

I have been able to keep in touch with this mama, and we were able to go out to lunch together shortly after her miscarriage. It was a good time to connect and share. She recently asked to go out with me again, so we plan to do that. She really wants to follow God and do what is right, but she has very little encouragement from her friends. I’m so thankful for the opportunity I have had to show her some love and support during a difficult time in her life. Please continue to pray for this mama as she cares for her other children, continues her schooling, and seeks to do what is right. And please pray for me (and our whole team) that we could continue to reach out and touch lives for Jesus!

Giving for Life

I have a post in progress about the exciting things that God has been doing through the pro-life ministry that I'm involved in. There have been a few women who have changed their mind about abortion in the past few months whose decisions I have had the privilege of witnessing! I look forward to sharing their stories with you.

This post is different from the content that I usually share here, but a financial need has arisen with one of the women who chose to let her baby live recently, and I would ask you to prayerfully consider whether you can donate a gift towards this need. Due to confidentially, I cannot share more details in this post. If you feel led to contribute, please leave a comment with your email address (I will not post any comment with an email address in it on this post) and I will send you an email with some details of the story/need and give instructions on how to donate online. Every gift of any amount will be greatly appreciated!

Thank you for your consideration of this need and may God bless you in your giving . . . for LIFE!

Enough Is Enough!

It has been almost four weeks since I had a memorable and life-changing experience at the abortion mill where I currently minister, and I’ve been trying to find the time to write that story up! But, it will have to wait a bit longer since I am going to write about today while it is still fresh on my mind.

Today, in response to recent videos exposing some of the horrific atrocities of Planned Parenthood (PP), thousands of people gathered outside PP buildings all across America to pray for an end to the slaughter of innocent children, protest the crime and injustice, and raise public awareness. I am thankful to have been able to be a part of the gathering outside the PP in my local city. This was my first time at an event like this, and what an experience it was! The zeal and dedication of those who take a stand for life and truth is contagious!

I am blessed to know and work with some very godly, passionate brothers and sisters in the pro-life ministry that I am involved in, and a number of them were there today. A few of them spoke and as I listened to them, I thought of how thankful I am for their example in this ministry. One woman in particular who spoke today has been such an inspiration to me (thank you, Mrs. W.!). These thoughts inspired a question that I want to ask myself, and that I think we should all ask: what kind of example am I leaving to those around me?

Mrs. K. and I at the protest

Have you been disgusted and saddened by the recent Planned Parenthood videos? Do you believe that all life is precious? Are you ready to say “enough is enough”? I would encourage you to step out and take a stand for life and the gospel of Jesus Christ right where you are. All it takes is a willingness to be used by God! Go to Sidewalks4Life.org to get involved.

I do want to make a little note here that what we did today at PP is different from what we do when we minister outside the abortion mills on a daily basis. Our specific goal was different (although proclaiming truth and life is always our goal in general), so we used a different approach. When we go out to the abortion mills to offer hope and help to the moms who come, we do not protest. We talk to them, pray for and with them, and show them what resources we can connect them with to help out with their needs.

It's Not Safe. But . . .

Tell them it’s not safe.

Tell them they may get spit at.

Tell them they may get hit.

Tell them they may get arrested even though they didn’t break any laws.

And tell them if they don’t go, that babies will die and souls will end up in hell.

That’s far more dangerous.

We need to stop being middle-class American sissies, and we need to be willing to fight faithfully with the Gospel to save souls and unborn babies.

~R. C. Sproul, Jr.

(The above was R. C.’s excellent response when asked what to say to people who asked if ministering at abortion mills is safe.)

I Serve An Amazing God!

Today was an amazing day out at the abortion mill. Not because I like it out there. In fact, I hate it. I wouldn’t go if I didn’t feel compelled to. And not because we saw an extraordinary response, either. There was one woman, all smiles, who left and said that she had changed her mind. We were able to give her a gift bag and phone numbers in case she needed more help. That was exciting and encouraging, but there were still so many hard hearts.

Instead, it was amazing because I saw and felt God’s hand so many times. On the way down, my sister and I prayed and she read Colossians chapter three out loud. That was a blessing. I arrived feeling so much more prepared than I have other weeks. I felt a nearness to God, a quiet, trusting faith and peace in my heart this morning even amidst the utter sinfulness and depravity that was being displayed around me. That is why I said that today was amazing—because I serve a God that never ceases to amaze me!

And before I close, I wanted to share this quote that a friend of mine posted on Facebook recently. It sounds a lot like what I told the women at the mill this morning as I spoke on the microphone: “Wrong is wrong even if everyone is doing it. Right is right even if no one is doing it.” ~Saint Augustine of Hippo

So true. Few are those who find it. But for those who do, they will find that God is truly amazing.

Where Are the Ambassadors?

"More [professing] evangelicals today will visit abortion mills as clients than as ambassadors of Jesus Christ."

~R.C. Sproul, Jr.

Brothers and sisters, church of God, this ought not to be!

The Laborers Are Few

Since we’re too far away from home to go to the abortion mill that we usually go to, we looked up the closest mill to where we currently are. We found out that they do abortions on Wednesdays and Fridays, so we went last Wednesday morning. I learned so much from being out that day.

We talked to one young lady, “A”, for a while. She took all of the information we had and let us pray for her, but eventually went inside. We then talked to her mother who said she didn’t want her daughter to do it. However, despite the tears in her eyes, she didn’t make much effort to do anything about it. “A” came out again later and we were able to share more with her. She listened, hesitated, started crying, but went back inside. She was obviously under conviction and had even told us that she knew she shouldn’t do it. As far as we know, though, she did.

Late in the morning, a woman pulled up, got out of her car, and almost ran inside. She looked like she had come straight from her job at a hair salon as she still had her apron on with her tools in the pockets. She came out a few minutes later yelling something that I couldn’t understand at first. When I began to make out her words, I realized that her pregnant daughter was inside and her grandchild was being murdered. This grandma was furious that she didn’t get to have a say in whether or not her grandchild would live. She was mad that such a thing was “legal” and even told us that we should blow the building up. My heart went out to this woman. It was too late for her to do anything, and she was grieving the loss of her precious grandchild whom she already loved and cared about.

The morning was full of interactions and conversations, but I will mention just one more. As we were getting ready to leave and had already walked a block away from the mill, a car pulled up beside us. I immediately recognized the couple inside as one that had come into the mill, so I approached the car. They asked for some of the information that we had, so I gave it to them and asked the woman if she had an abortion. She said no, so I asked if she was pregnant. She smiled and said yes. I then asked if they were going to keep their baby. The woman’s smile grew bigger and the man replied, “we think so”. I encouraged them that that was the right thing to do and God would bless that decision, and then they left. What an encouraging way to end the day! Thank you, Lord! Please join me in praying that this couple’s uncertainty would be replaced by a resolve to do what is right no matter what.

On reflecting on our day, we were saddened by the lack of people in front of the mill offering practical and spiritual help. In the words of my father: “. . . we were left with the serious question of whether there were any Christians within an hour's drive in any direction, which is the distance we drove to go to this clinic and be a witness just one time. The only two people there for a while were two Catholics. They told us the Muslims across the street have been actively involved. These were the only "evangelicals" that [this city] has to offer. "Evangelical" has to do with evangelist, evangelize, which means to tell people the good news, but the sad news is that no one will ever hear the good news that Christ came to bring from either the Catholics or the Muslims, yet they are the only ones out there with a message, with handouts, with help . . . there was a tremendous opportunity present, but not a single born again person to answer the call. Why? Where are they? Where are you?”

This made me tremendously thankful for the pro-life and gospel focused ministry that we are a part of in our area. The labors, prayers, and support of the brothers and sisters that are a part of that group are an inspiration to me! May the Lord raise up laborers in every place where precious children are killed to be a voice for the innocent and a witness for Christ to those who are spiritually dead.

Monday, April 13 - Abortion Mill Update

I haven’t been in a “writing mood” recently, which is strange because I usually have more things to write than I have time for! Days like today out at the abortion mill make me want to write, though; somehow it helps me unwind and process the morning.

One of our Monday team regulars was gone this morning so it felt like a very small crowd on the sidewalks. My sister and I arrived first and I began speaking on the microphone. There was a testimony from Tuesday last week at this same abortion mill that a woman who was in a back room preparing for her abortion came out and chose life because of what she had heard being shared over the microphone. I’m very thankful that we have this tool to reach those inside the building that wouldn’t be able to hear our voices otherwise!

I had checked the weather last night in preparation for this morning and it wasn’t calling for rain in the morning, so we didn’t bother to pack our umbrellas. We have found that no matter what the weatherman says, though, it almost always rains on Monday morning. And guess what? It did! (Note to self: always bring umbrellas.) We were thankful for a dear brother who arrived soon after us to lend his support, encouragement, help and—he also brought umbrellas!!

Two women turned away from death after seeing their child on the free ultrasound provided by the pregnancy resource center’s mobile RV that comes out. We’re so thankful for that tool, as well; God has blessed us with such wonderful resources in this battle for life and souls!

Sadly, not all of those who get the ultrasound chose life. My sister talked to one young woman who had an ultrasound and is seven weeks along. She said that she didn’t feel ready to be a parent, but my sister explained that she already is a mother and nothing—not even abortion—will ever change that. If she has an abortion she will just be the mother of a dead child. She admitted that it felt “awkward” to be going in to an abortion clinic. It should! That was her conscience, the law of God written on her heart, but she ignored it.

 There seemed to be a lot of hard hearts this morning. Of course, there always are, but some mornings we see it more than others. One woman took the resource booklet that the man in the car had taken from me and threw it back out the window. Later she was laughing and dancing in the parking lot. She might laugh now, but the Bible says that those who laugh now will weep later. My heart breaks for her.

Another woman that I talked to said that she had previously had an abortion and had gone through a lot of pain and mental anguish after that. When I asked her if she wanted to go through that again, she said that she just needed to do it. I told her that we were there to show her a different way if she would let us help her. Then I asked her if she knew or cared what God thought about what she was going to do and she said she didn’t care. It really just came down to a hard heart. God can’t help those who don’t want to be helped.

March 2, 2015 - Abortion Mill Update

Faith. Yesterday a brother at our church shared a message about faith that really encouraged me. (Messages about faith always seem to do that to me!) So, since we had just heard about it and it seemed relevant to our mission, faith is one of the things that my sister and I got to talking about on our drive to the abortion mill this morning. Maybe I’ll share some of those thoughts in a later post. My sister and I always have such good conversations on the way down, and having each other on the drive home gives us a chance to unload from the morning and learn from each other’s experiences. I’m SO thankful to have a sister to share the long drive with!

Due to a recent schedule change within the pro-life group that we minister with, we’ll be going out to the abortion mill every Monday for now. Somehow it seems that I get to bed later on Sundays than other days of the week, which was certainly true of this week! I was thankful that even though I got to bed very late, I actually felt well rested when my alarm woke me up this morning.

For the past month or so, Mondays have been very busy at this particular abortion mill. This morning we again saw the new normal of a dozen or so post-abortion checkups and 35-40 abortions. We didn’t have the typical rain that we’ve had on Mondays, though, and the nicer weather allowed us to have more interactions.

One young man, “R”, came down to the sidewalk and took some information from us. He seemed receptive and said that if it were up to him, he wouldn’t be there. We encouraged him to go inside and do what he could. Later after another pro-life man arrived, “R” talked to him for a while. Although the young man was encouraged to do what he was admitting he knew was right, we never saw him and the young woman he brought come out.

Every space in the mill parking lot was full at one point, so one young lady parked along the street behind our car. She was very nicely dressed so we wondered if she was there for a job interview, but that didn’t seem to be the case. As she was walking in we tried to give her some information. She said that she already had an abortion, so we tried to give her a post-abortive booklet. Later, she came out to put her purse in the car but wouldn’t make eye contact, talk, or take anything. On her last trip out to her car to leave, she finally stopped to talk to us. After some comments about premarital relationships and abortion, she told us, “My god taught me a lesson and I’m a different person now, but not because of anything that you said. I think it’s so rude and disrespectful of you to be out here saying these things to these girls.”

Late in the morning, a grandmother and her daughter and granddaughter (the granddaughter was about one year old) arrived. The daughter was the one scheduled for an abortion. The grandmother came down and took some literature and talked for a few minutes. She told us that she had told her daughter that it was okay to have the abortion now so that she could get her life fixed up and then she could have more children later when she was ready. She then became very argumentative and started yelling, which she carried on for quite a while and got the bouncer and a few others on the porch to join her in mocking.

Three women that we know of had ultrasounds today but still went through with their abortions. It is so crushing and sad to watch them come off of the ultrasound unit and drive into the mill. I was on the verge of tears several times this morning, but I think that’s a good thing. We were not able to witness any women change their minds today, but we sought to be faithful and trust God for the outcome.

We did have one bright spot this morning, and that was when a woman who had previously chosen life for her baby stopped by to tell us that she is having a girl! She was so happy and her excitement was contagious! All of the sorrow and discouragement of the morning was so completely worth it for that moment of joy!