My Love Story

I’m sorry this is so long, but my heart is overflowing with my Great King’s amazing love and I just felt like I had to share about His goodness to me! May you be pointed to Him through this story of His faithfulness!

If I were to summarize my life, I would put it in the words of Mary, the mother of Jesus: “For the Mighty One has done great things for me; and holy is His name.” It is because of this that I say with her, “Behold the handmaid of the Lord; be it unto me according to Thy word.”

My life began in 1994 in a quiet country setting in Vermont. At that time I had one sister, my elder by eighteen months. By 2007 our family would grow to a grand total of nine children, all of whom were born in Vermont except my youngest sister, born just across the border in New Hampshire.

My parents did not grow up Christian, but by the time I was born they were. We read the Bible as a family and were a Christian home. Because of this, I kind of assumed I was “okay”. I don’t know if I would have exactly said I was a Christian if asked, but I didn’t think I was a sinner. I vaguely remember a short conversation with my mother when I was about seven years old during which I found out that I wasn’t a Christian just because my parents were (surprise!). Now the responsibility rested upon me.

Our family was not part of an established church for the first years of my life. After leaving the mainstream Christian church right around the time I was born, we met by ourselves, with other families in homes, and visited churches. Weeks after my ninth birthday and during the time we were planning to move out-of-state to be part of a church, our family was invited to a gathering of Christians by a family we had only met twice and didn’t know very well at all. That was all it took – a few months later we all began meeting regularly.

God began moving mightily in hearts and many were born again in the next year and a half. Up to this point we had been driving two hours one way to meetings every other week on Sunday and often gatherings of various kinds during the week. Then little by little, families began moving to a central location. We moved an hour away from where we had been in October 2005.

            But I’m getting ahead of myself! Before we moved, I began seriously considering my own heart as I heard others give witness to the work God had done in their lives and watched them be baptized. One conversation I remember very clearly from this time of searching was one I had with my parents about “counting the cost” of following Christ (see Luke 14:25-33). I also remember often crying myself to sleep or sneaking into my closet to pray long after everyone else had gone to bed. I couldn’t have told you exactly why, though, because I still didn’t really see myself as a “that bad”.

            Then we moved. That was exciting, and for a time I was distracted from thoughts of God. When I did think about it, the thought was always “later”. That is a very dangerous thing, and for some, there is never a “later”. But God in His great mercy did give me a “later”, and for that I am forever grateful. That is why I am telling this story of His amazing love!

            A few months later, my older sister was born again. That brought mixed feelings; on the one hand our relationship was greatly restored, but on the other hand it brought me more conviction. During the following months, almost every day was a battle. I knew what God was asking me to do, but my rebellious heart would not yield to Him.

            One of the biggest things that still stood between God and me was my need to see myself as a wicked sinner, which is exactly what I was. Per my Father’s direction, I began keeping a list of everything that I could remember that I had ever done wrong. I didn’t even finish that list, because it was too bad. I finally saw the true state of my heart.

It was then in March 2006 when I was eleven years old that I finally allowed God to break me. My Father and I were taking a walk in the cornfield behind our house when I told him I wasn’t going to wait any longer – I was going to repent and yield my life to God right now. We knelt beside an old log and it was there that God replaced my stony heart with one of flesh! Nine days later I was baptized in obedience to God as a symbol of the transformation that had taken place in my life.

Although I look back with great joy on that time when God adopted me as His daughter, His princess, the story of His amazing love doesn’t stop there. That was just the beginning! The church that we were a part of at that time continued to grow and flourish. I loved the people of God – my brothers and sisters – and I loved the work He was doing among us.

At the end of May 2008 we were told by our landlord that in three weeks we would need to be out of the house that we were renting. My parents had already had a sense that God was moving us on from that church, and He continued to confirm this as no housing opportunities opened up in the area. My Mother’s parents graciously opened their home to us, and we gladly accepted the offer. Moving to my grandparents took us an hour away from the church, back to where we were originally from. We stopped attending the church at that time.

The year that we lived at my grandparents was a happy, sad, exciting, and challenging time all at once. God began a refining work in my heart, which I rebelled against at first. My life and joy had come from our church ever since I was born again, and now God was trying to teach me to rely solely on Him. It was a painful process at times, but only because of my flesh. Looking back, I now see that it was a very beautiful time in my life.

Leaving the church that we had been a part of also began a three-year journey of searching for another church, during which we traveled out-of-state many times. We met many new friends and made wonderful connections with brothers and sisters in other states.

That year also brought some very hard news – my Mother was diagnosed with cancer. Just before her surgery my grandpa had emergency hip surgery and a few weeks later my older sister had knee surgery. What looked like a very bad thing God turned into a great blessing as people from the church we had been a part of reached out in weekly visits and providing many meals for us. I don’t think we could have done it without them!

In May 2009 we bought a house just ¾ of a mile away from my grandparents. The two years we lived at that house hold a lot of special family memories. God used that time to draw our family together in an even closer bond than we had experienced before. However, He also had more He wanted to do in my life. It was then that I was diagnosed with a Temporomandibular (jaw) Joint Disorder.

The next year and a half was a very bittersweet time. Through days, which turned into weeks and months, of pain, I found a nearness to God that I hadn’t known before. Driving an hour and a half one way to see a specialist, plus physical therapy appointments, were also a blessing in disguise as I got to spend a lot of one-on-one time with my parents.

Some of my favorite verses during this time were: “But now, O Lord, You are our Father, we are the clay, and You our potter; and all of us are the work of Your hand” (Isaiah 64:8) and “. . . casting all your care on Him, because He cares for you” (1 Peter 5:7b). Although this was the most difficult thing I have ever experienced in my own life, I would not have had it differently. God certainly knows what we need!

In July 2010, our family took a trip to North Carolina for a friend’s wedding. Although we were still looking for a church at that time, we didn’t exactly have that in mind when we went to the wedding (North Carolina was too far south!). We attended the wedding and then returned to Vermont. However, the next spring we were invited by my mother’s parents to go along with them on their yearly vacation to the ocean in South Carolina. It was then that we remembered “that church in North Carolina”. Since we would be passing through the area, we called a contact we had from the church and made plans to visit.

We spent just under forty-eight hours in the area and then continued on our way to South Carolina. We made a decision as a family not to discuss our visit to the church, but instead for each of us to pray about it. The day after we returned from South Carolina, we called a family meeting. Each family member shared their thoughts and feelings and leadings from the Lord. It was unanimous – the Lord was directing us to move to North Carolina!

That is when the whirlwind of activity began. My parents took a five-day trip to North Carolina to look at houses. Once again, we did not talk about the houses but went to the Lord in prayer. We then had another family meeting and although we did not reach a definitive decision at that time, the Lord clearly laid the path out before us. The house we ended up buying was one that my parents had looked at quickly just as they were headed out of town back to Vermont. It wasn’t even on the market yet but they had heard that the owners wanted to sell it. What a blessing – we didn’t even have to go through a realtor!

Almost exactly three months from when we visited the church in North Carolina we were all packed up and on the road. We said goodbye to Vermont where my Mother had grown up and we had all lived since my parents were married, and set off for our new home.

That was just over two years ago. The past two years have been equally as exciting and faith building. God has continued to work mightily in my life and our family; however, one particular thing stands out most in my mind.

Although the pain from my jaw joint disorder had gone away considerably through treatment and time, I still had problems with it. So after we moved, we sought out a specialist and began visits. We then learned that my regular dentist treated patients with my condition often, so we switched to him. That was a blessing in itself, since he is a Christian and always credited God with any progress or healing.

Then I developed migraine headaches and the occipital neuralgia (inflammation of a nerve) that I had since I was young was getting a lot worse. A doctor visit followed and I began seeing a neurologist. All through this time a close friend of mine in our church had been praying for me and she encouraged me to consider being anointed. I knew that was what God was asking me to do, but I wasn’t willing to take that step of faith. It seemed so much easier to just rely on human wisdom (doctors). Then, two things happened. First, a young sister in our church was anointed for her Lyme’s disease. I was blessed and encouraged by her faith. A few weeks later, a brother preached a message about faith versus feelings. God really used that to work in my heart and I yielded in obedience to what He was asking me to do.

In accordance with the pattern outlined at the end of James chapter five, I requested anointing from the elders of our church for my jaw disorder, headaches, and neuralgia. That was very faith-building for me! Every situation is different and some may feel led to continue medications or treatment even after an anointing as a means of healing that God can work through. However, in my case, I felt that the Lord really wanted me to go the whole way and fully trust Him for my healing. So with more faith that I felt like I had, I stopped the medication I was on and waited to see what God would do! Although God does sometimes choose not to heal for various reasons, He did heal me and I want to give Him the glory for the amazing things He has done in my life. It is only because of Him that I am now pain-free! Thank you, Lord!

God has continued to do many great things in my life since then. It hasn’t always been as easy or exciting, but He never promised an easy path. He only gives us these “mountain-top” experiences from time to time as faith builders and a reminder of His power and love.

As the Lord has continued to guide me, He has recently led me into the work of saving lives destined to death through abortion. (To read the story of how God led me to be involved in this life-saving ministry, visit here.)

It is my prayer that His work will always continue in my life. May this testimony be a small tribute to a Great King – the one to whom I owe my everything! “For the Mighty One has done great things for me; and holy is His name.” ~ Luke 1:49